Alien Girl

bobs: An imaginary, mysterious lover. Looking away from you. It's a tear-jerker.
Beef: Yes. As she's preparing to leave herself, due to being rejected for another lover. That's pretty schmaltzy.

anna ng

bobs: Very cute, and copyrighted. I love it! The rules didn't say it had to be yours. Will you be mine?
Beef: I CHOO-CHOO-CHOOSE you! That's one of my all-time favorite Ralphisms!

 

Avacado

bobs: OMG! I just realized that she loves the blender that will soon puree her to death! Why do women make such bad choices?
Beef: There's kind of a sick masochistic schmaltz! I love it!

 

BerBaLang_

bobs: That just makes me feel ill. The very epitome of schmaltz.
Beef: Talk about sleezy! Schmaltz in many aspects of the word - particularly the chicken fat - he's just oozing with greeeeeez!

 

bitchn1/2

bobs: Ah, how can one help but have a secret crush on a one-eyed monster? It'll never work.
Beef: Monsters, chicken fat, and hearts. What more could a girl want?

 

BlueGypsy

bobs: THIS is the sleezy one! Very near pornographic. Quite sickening!
Beef: Okay, Gypsy, you're just naaaasstaaaay! That guy's just disturbing!!!

 

cocome

bobs: At last, a little sense and sentimentality.
Beef: Some old-fashioned schmaltz. But where's your crush?

 

EvilSock

bobs: Your uncertain expression toward Snarfleez as he glares at you. Sad, isn't it?
Beef: Is Snarfleez drooling?
bobs: No, that's lipstick made of chicken fat.
Beef: Ah, I see! Nice schmaltz!

 

Fuji

bobs: The daring rescue by a macho ape- so schmaltzy! A fairy tale come true!
Beef: I don't know why, but this one just makes me bust a gut! I love that expression! Are you happy to be rescued from that wimpy branch, or are you in love with the branch and fearful of the ape?

 

Gorzola

bobs: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Never was a truer image. I like when Beef pulls my ear, too.
Beef: In love with CHEESE? THAT'S pretty schmaltzy! Extra points to you since I'm scratching bobs!

 

gwendolyn

Beef: Who's NOT in love with PeeWee? That's what I want to know!
bobs: Yes, PeeWee-every young woman's fantasy. If only he knew.

 

Happy Meal

bobs: Now that's cute, but I'm not catching any sentimentality.
Beef: I've eaten so much Mealtucky Fried Chicken trying to get a hold of that schmaltztastic Tomb Tripper action figure!
bobs: I think he goes with that male stripper above?
Beef: He's got the fat, though, bobs...oozing out of his bucket...
bobs: (barf)
Beef: My Tomb Tripper watches me fall asleep every night...*swoon*

 

kewpie

bobs: Now there's a dream world! Girlhood dreams of a plastic prince. When will he come save me from this dreary existence?
Beef: This just oozes schmaltz. The flowers...the pink and red hearts...the baby doll lingerie...the swoontastic hunk of plastic...excuse me while I puke on bobs' shoes!

 

kewpie

bobs: kewpie again- an excellent symbolic commentary on the overly realistic entries in this contest. Not schmaltzy, though.
Beef: I think kewpie has a career in the world of ASCII fine art!

 

KikAssGal

bobs: Nice eyework! Who wouldn't love a big fat chicken? Belllch!
Beef: Now that's a big ass chicken!!! Just don't let Happy Meal get near your unlikely love! Nice expression of love!

LemonLimei

bobs: Ahh, the lovely gingerbread man. Looks like he loves you too. Or does he consider you "Coyote Ugly?" Watch out before he chews his arm off too!
Beef: bobs? Are you getting hungry, too?

 

LemonLimei

bobs: I like the second pic. Makes you look a bit more psychotic
Beef: You two are quite the happy couple! Disturbing, but happy!

 

mateo

Beef: Wow. Who knew chicken fat could be so romantic?
bobs: Looks like your honeymoon has been interrupted by a live chicken...or are those your hands?
Beef: Are you happy to bathe with me, or is that a chicken in the water?
bobs: LOL'ed

 

raisedbycats

bobs: Isn't it schmaltzy to go against your upbringing and fall in love with another species?
Beef: What a star-crossed love schmaltz-fest youv'e got going on, raisedby. I mean, you're raisedbycats in love with a dog. Albeit a handsome dog...

 

Severus

bobs: Very very schmaltzy. Not simple though, so I'll have to dock you. Beautiful work!
Beef: *Swoon* They love me, bobs! They really love me!!! *Swoon* Sorry, though, it can't win because you used my rendition of you...but I'll give you my OWN reward, later on...

 

SONofSAB+

bobs: Don't you just get all schmaltzy when the man you love looks away? He married you though, so that must count for something!
Beef: Well, they're old, and he's holding a bucket of fat, so...

 

TalkingTina

bobs: It just pulls at my heart to see those big eyes! Such a helpless pair! *cries tears of fat*
Beef: OMG. Tina, I literally cried out "AWWWWWWWWW" when I saw this. I almost got teary-eyed. WAAAAAAHH! This epitomizes the meaning of Schmaltz.
bobs: And it's simple too!
Beef: And it's maudlin!